The Is No Place To Order Good Chinese Food From In Fort Greene

wah-wah-wahI don’t care that at a quick glance Fort Greene appears well stocked with Asian Eateries. Yes, there are about 200,000 Thai restaurants on Myrtle (OK, 3). And about 340,000 Chinese restaurants (more like 20) with a few spatterings of Indian occurrences but Thai is Thai and Indian is Indian (not sure why I mentioned it now that I think of it–desperation?) and those Chinese restaurants are not Good Chinese restaurants.

Have you ever eaten in any of the many “Dog Food” Chinese establishments on Myrtle, Dekalb or Park? If you are not sure, here is how to spot a “Dog Food” Chinese restaurant: your order is thrust at you through a bullet proof partition and it is always garbage. Their main focus seems to be deep frying chicken and french fries (the fries are crinkle cut and chicken wings are immensely battered and both have been frozen for about 26 years).

Plus, there are faded pictures of food on the walls. I always know the food is going to suck if there are pictures of it on the walls.

The one acceptable Chinese restaurant on Myrtle does not deliver and is 16 blocks from my house. I don’t want to make the 32 block hike for food, even for Sichuan. As the deprived and lazy grow in numbers if we band together we might be able to get a City ordinance to Force Kum Kao to deliver. Or better yet, entice and entreat several proper Chinese food chefs to move in and open shop.

We Can Do It!

Fort Greene Restaurants

When my boyfriend and I decided to move in together to this loft in a rather unknown(at least to us) part of Brooklyn, we were sure we would go broke if we ordered in every night.
So we made a pact to cook at home instead. This was a good idea for health reasons both our own and of our finances.
And we do save a ton of money.
We do also go out to eat and being lazy we tend to stick to this area when we do.
Here are 4 of our tried and true favorites:

  • Chez Oskar
  • Mojitos
  • Thai 101
  • Castros

Chez Lulu, on Myrtle avenue just opened up a couple of months ago and we haven’t gone there yet.

Chez Oskar [211 Dekalb ave]and Chez Lulu [387 Myrtle Ave Cross Street: Between Clermont Avenue and Vanderbilt Avenue]are-if you hadn’t guessed yet, French and so are a bit more expensive then the others.

Once you have staked out a few places as “tried and true” inevitably changes inside the establishment will happen.Take Thai 101,[located 455A Myrtle ave]. After keeping our eye on this place for almost a whole year we all decided that the best day of the week to either eat in or order from is Saturday.All other days return really rather mediocre thai food.This is a mystery,yes.But we work with it.

The most famous place on Myrtle is probably The Five Spot[459 Myrtle].It’s a jazz club and restaurant combo that also has takeout.
It’s a mix of standard American and soul food.
They offer delivery but be prepared to wait an exorbitant amount of time before getting it.
And it will be ice cold upon arrival.
Even walking up there to place an order isn’t recommended ; I thought this was the way to go but found out that a simple order of a burger and fries took them over half an hour to assemble.
I haven’t yet worked out a workaround to the Five Spot’s horrendous customer service as unlike Thai 101 it is a 7 days a week problem!
I remain mystified as to why it takes me 15 minutes to walk there but takes a delivery guy over an hour and a half to get to my door…
So if I were you I’d just eat in the restaurant itself.
And yes-it is good food which is why I even cared to mention it as a possibility.Too bad.

If you want good food and good drinks, there’s Mojitos [82 Park ave and Washington st.,near the Chocolate Factory building].
It’s inexpensive but those drinks prices add up. My boyfriend seldom drinks but at Mojitos he can down 3 Bloody Marys and that will cost around 20 dollars all by itself. They make a deliciously spicy version of a Bloody Mary here.I’m as fond of all those sweet mojito,fruit flavored margarita and sangria type drinks as anyone else but a savory drink in my mind just goes better with food. Sweet is for dessert and teenage girls, ah, who ought not to be drinking.
Ahem. If you are a teetotaler, Mojitos for you will be downright cheap.
Their Churrascaria Chicken,@12 dollars, is very very good.And funnily enough their version of the gratis bread and butter is better than anything they have for sale on the menu:
a plate of bruschetta like toasts covered in garlic butter accompanied by ramekins filled with an assortment of dipping sauces.
They aren’t stingy here,either and if you ask they may bring out more.But it does depend on whether or not they are “busy” and in this small restaurant that means,I guess, more than 6 full tables(?)
On my last visit I noticed 2 favored patrons(who did look like big eaters) got a massive portion of bread and dips and we were very envious of them.
Like I said; this place is good for drinkers and teetotalers alike but if you are a drinker be prepared to spend at least 50 dollars a person for 3 drinks 1 entree and 1 appetizer.

Castros[511 Myrtle Ave Cross Street: Between Ryerson Street and Grand Avenue]
Mexican food.Decent guac.A bit expensive:3 people ordering can be up to 44 bucks.Good
food,though.Big bags of tortilla chips arrive with the excellent salsa-you’d never eat them all. Their Chilaquiles are really bad,however.Soggy.Too bad, as that was one of my favorite dishes.They skimp on sour cream.But they have Jarritos soda and I forgive them.

Chez Oskar [211 DeKalb Ave.] is a pretty little bistro with pretty good French food.However:they make the mistake of having a pretty loud band play throughout the dinner service.Big mistake.Obnoxious to not be able to hear your dining companion seated 36 inches across from you.Not too expensive.It’s Fort Green not Manhattan prices.Otherwise we couldn’t afford to go there. The band is not a bad band,either.Just not appropriate for a relaxing dining experience.I mean,I’d give em a dollar if I heard em in the subway…

I love you,Ham

I may be the worst person to write a food review.

Not only can I not remember the name of the store I am about to reccommend, I can’t even tell you the exact location!

I’m talking about this Polish deli on Bedford street in Williamsburg around north 5th street maybe north 6th–anyway it’s a block away from the Salvation Army store.So if you know Bedford street at all you probably already know the deli I’m talking about..It’s actually right next to another Polish deli–in fact the 2 stores are so alike that it doesn’t really matter which one you go to. All you need to remember is the ham rocks.

When it comes to pork these people know what they are doing.

Here you may purchase an entire pound of the best tasting ham you ever had; salty and smoky and just the right amount of sweetness, for six tiny dollars.There,in the cold case are two hams to choose from.One is smokier than the other and it’s texture is a little less fine as the one I’m raving about.The one to get is smoky enough but has a much better texture.

At six dollars a pound-I’m pretty sure an entire ham would be within anyone’s price range.

Dean and Deluca,Garden of Eden and other such high fallutin vendors of fine food would gasp at that 6 dollar a pound pricing.Not only does this polish ham taste a hundred times better than any I have ever purchased from those snobstores–you also don’t have to deal with snippy or zombified clerks at the register because the same person who slices your ham for you is the one who rings it up.Nice and homey and that is hard to find around town these days.

FoodShopping in the boonies

Fairway vs.Fresh Direct

Living in my neighborhood has it’s drawbacks… local food shopping is limited to 2 stores:
Associated and Bravo.
Associated has lately included a larger selection of organic produce and frozen packaged foods.Not that I am into Organic so much as fresh.

The bane of my existence truly is a store that cuts corners with freshness in it’s produce.
I’m talking about soft potatoes and onions covered in bitty little flies(gnats?I don’t know).
Which is pretty much what you’ll find at my closest market,Bravo.Although to throw them a bone they do tend to always have fresh herbs like cilantro and thyme and parsley on hand…even if their tomatoes are kind of sad!

So even though I said a good cook should be able to make do,she shouldn’t have to deal with soft onions and potatoes and sad tomatoes.right?

This is where the 2 stores Freshdirect and Fairway come into the picture.
Long ago are the days that I could walk out my front door and have a multitude of farmer’s markets and the best meat store ever,Big Apple Meats(40th and 9th avenue) home of the 9 dollar filet mignon 4 pack, to shop in.

I’m talking about the old days when I lived in Hell’s Kitchen.If I missed The Big Apple(they closed at 7 pm) I could always get to Western Beef on 14th and 9th–even if I did have to pass rather fancy folks in outdoor cafes to get there.At Western Beef one could buy an entire filet mignon in a cryo bag for around 25 dollars.

Now that I live in Fort Greene and on the edges,to be honest,I have to be a lot less lazy and spoiled if I want to find edible ingredients for our meals.Which was how Freshdirect got my business.My problem with them is that they are expensive and especially with meat.But they deliver, on time for only 5 dollars and if you ever need to move, after a few months of steady delivery from them, you would be certain to have plenty of boxes! But due to their high prices-I’ve only ordered from them twice-months apart.

Fairway is one of those places that awes you with sheer selection.But you have to be careful not to go too crazy or you’ll be out 100 bucks easy when checking out at the register.And I wouldn’t count on them too much for good meat prices either, as they seem to fluctuate as often as a manic depressive’s moods.

So far for the financially restricted but discerning foodie,frustrated by meager selection and high prices, the best alternative is definately Trader Joe’s.
Located on 14th street and Union Square,they have quality and lots of it and I couldn’t believe how inexpensive their meat was.I know I go on and on about meat and money but really, the 2 are inseperable.If you love filet mignon as much as I and my boyfriend do–you too will be knocked out by their sirloin filets.And when I wanted an easy meal I threw into the oven the pre-seasoned boneless leg of lamb.It was absolutely delicious!And cheap.

Next door at Trader Joe’s wine store I was finally able to get my hands on 2 bottles of Guenoc’s wine.I’d bought a bottle of Petit Syrah at the winestore in Grand central a couple of months ago and hadn’t been able to find it again at any other store.I love this wine maker.I don’t know anything about them but that all their wine tastes really good-white or red-chardonnay or Cabernet and it costs 9.99 a bottle at Trader Joe’s wine store vs 15 bucks at the Grand Central store.

Any meal is enhanced by a glass of wine.

And it is even better if it costs 9.99!

I’ve heard of 2 buck chuck but wasn’t brave enough to try it.Although here in NYC it’s more like 4 buck chuck.