mccormicky – Page 75

The worst meal I’ve ever had

…was at an Applebee’s. To make things even better the service was also the worst.

My friend wanted to go there so I went along planning to just have a drink and watch him eat.But I ended up ordering the nachos as well as a margarita. In Brooklyn just a few blocks from where the Applebee’s is are about 20 other restaurants which all kick Applebee’s ass. I’d always considered Applebee’s to be on the same level as Chili’s…not very good food but ok if you are desperate to find somewhere to eat.

But there is never a reason to be desperate in a big city like Brooklyn and I just don’t understand the attraction of these mediocre establishments.This one was semi busy with a lot of empty tables and a lot of servers so why it took them 30 minutes to even get us a glass of water and take our order is a mystery.And it is also a mystery why when I ordered a margarita on the rocks what I got was this odd concoction: a heavily salted mini martini glass with an olive! I double checked the drink menu and saw this was indeed in the description,I’d just missed this startling and bizarre ingredient. Margaritas should be either frozen or on the rocks.There is no reason to improve on the basic formula.When done perfectly a “perfect margarita” is a beautiful thing. What I got was salty and strange.

The nachos were big enough to feed four people. I was completely embarrassed to have this trough of food in front of me.And of course they were almost inedible.They were ice cold and the cheese looked and tasted very much like the kind that comes in a can with a spray nozzle.

The middle of the trough was a gross mixture of shredded Iceburg lettuce and sour cream for that extra touch of icky sogginess. The chips were stale and heavily salted. The ground beef(I’d also not seen this on the menu or I really wouldn’t have ordered it because I find ground beef kind of gross unless I cook it myself) was funky. The kind of funky that only means one thing: instant heartburn.

Bad food, bad service, bland, banal decor and babies at neighboring pooping their diapers, so why does this place exist? Why do people go to this place? I can understand it if you are in some remote strip mall with nothing but KFC’s or Mcdonald’s or Taco Bell’s to choose from…but in Brooklyn? ICK.

Killing an Orchid

I love orchids but always thought I had a black thumb so I never had the nerve to buy one, afraid I’d just kill it. As it turned out my alleged black thumb was just me neglecting to water my plants enough.
Since absorbing and putting into practice the important fact that a lot of indoor plants need to be watered more than 3 times a year I have been able to keep alive quite a few varieties of plants and felt perhaps the curse of the black thumb had been lifted. Continue reading Killing an Orchid

I met a girl from Myspace

My friend Katie, who I met on Myspace because she joined a group I created called Champagne Lovers, is in town for the long weekend.

Some people I know feel it is absolutely commonplace to arrange to meet someone you met virtually. Some others are very suspicious of anyone online. Anyone with an online life has probably either dated someone they met or slept with them or got conned by them or even murdered or kidnapped.
A friend of mine joked: have fun meeting the old fat man pretending to be a normal girl from CA. If I was a 14 year old girl that could really happen. But I am in my 30’s and far out of the age range targeted by sexual predators while still being smack into the demographic for being conned (did you see that Oprah show on this very subject?). However if Katie had intended anything untoward I am certain I would’ve picked up on it right away!

I’ve got a healthy level of paranoia but I never once suspected Katie was anyone other than Katie.
I’m also just very bad at veering out of the comfortable rut I’ve made for myself and that making plans and going out disrupts. But Katie was worth making the effort. After all, she flew out here. The very least I could do was show up.

I walked into the bar to meet Katie and her friend Judy and we proceeded to get ripped. We ordered 3 bottles of wine and 2 plates of skimpy snacks, neither of which did nearly enough to soak up all the alcohol.3 women without male bodyguards will sooner or later have male attention. We tried to (is there ever a nice way to put this?) get rid of him but we failed. As pickled as we were we forgot that the bar had held onto one of our credit cards and in our haste to leave the bar we all forgot to pay and get the card back.
Luckily I remembered when we were only a half a block away! Can you imagine? I would never knowingly stiff a bar and especially not a bar that is so nice and whose bartenders are so cute and competent. Our only excuse is we were sozzled.
When that little disaster was taken care of I suggested we walk to my house so they could meet the dog and my boyfriend.

We drank still more wine at my place and it is incredible that I didn’t die. How am I alive after first not even eating and consuming vast amounts of alcohol? Sometimes my Irish kicks in and saves my ass.

I know everyone loves it when I discuss my lady parts.

Once again the hormones did what ever they wanted to do and caused a ruckus. Most of the month I am your average semi functioning passive aggressive. But 2 or 3 hours before the (euphemism) I become just plain aggressive. Even hostile. Lending weight to that old saw that a woman can’t become president because she’ll get her period and nuke some innocent country. Like thats so much worse than destroying a nation so we can have more cheap oil. And how well that has worked with gas costing over 3 bucks a gallon. Oh right, that’s because a hurricane destroyed some oil rigs. And it’s definitely not because Haliburton is going to make money hand over fist whatever way the cookie crumbles.

Mens, thank your stars Hilary is menopausal.
I am joking in case you didn’t know.
So my little hegemony was rattled because no one bought toilet paper for one whole day.
One.Whole.Day.
I am 36 years old. I have not had to live like a college student with milk crates for furniture and paper towels,napkins or tissue paper for toilet paper since I was 21. Part of being a grown up is buying the T.P. before it runs out.
If you can’t manage to do that- then as the person to use the last sheet of toilet paper you are responsible for going out and buying some more. If you fail at this small task either because you plain don’t give a crap or you just don’t notice or you are too much of a sensitive artist to be bothered with such petty details, then you are an asshole.
I live with 3 guys (not what you think) all of them are rather challenged when it comes to domestic affairs. I’ve long since given up on hoping they will clean. But I will fight them to the death on the toilet paper buying and replacing issue.
Normally I grumble under my breath and stomp about. That’s my passive aggressive mode and where I live for 3 weeks each month. But today I bitched about it until my boyfriend threw dishes.
I admit that shut me up.
Speaking of passive aggressiveness there is a site called passiveaggressivenotes.com. I am going to submit my note that I taped to the bathroom door.