Tag: Roommates

My boyfriend’s younger brother has found his own place. Our living situation has gone back to normal. Or as normal as we can get,anyway. We seem to have toilet paper when we need it and coffee is lasting longer. I hadn’t met anyone who drinks as much coffee as Adam until I met Eli.That’s another story.

The problem of maintaining the toilet paper levels so that there was always a roll on the holder and at least one spare drove me nuts when we had 5 people living here. It just wasn’t happening and it led to ill feeling. The guys living here seem to think that buying toilet paper is not their concern.This amazes me as it is just one of those things you can’t live without like air. And as for souring roommate relations go it tops the toothpaste top being left off (a crime of mine, I am not perfect) and stealing food.
Toilet Paper–you’ve got to buy it to have it. There isn’t a T.P. fairy.
We have a store on our block and in order to get to our house Continue reading You can’t live without it but some try to

How to keep control of the remote control: a users guide to not watching anything sports related.

I have a roommate who is obsessed with watching men play with their balls. Big balls or little balls.It doesn’t seem to matter. If no game is on he will watch a sports radio program. Radio about sports. On TV.The only thing worse then a sports game is men talking about a sports game on the radio and seeing it broadcast on TV.

If no game is on he will watch the stats of any given game of the past week. He will watch sports talk shows,sports documentaries. Sports movies. As long as there are men,balls and uniforms involved.

As a girl growing up I was forced to watch sports. I was outnumbered. I did enjoy Pro-Wrestling, lard slamming, as we affectionately termed it.
But that was because it was so camp.
Here is a picture of the famous Andre the Giant.Probably the most famous wrestler. I mean, I even know who he is.

There is nothing camp about professional sports games.They are long and repetitive. Someone throws/hits/catches/kicks a ball. Snore.

So in order to never have to watch another sports program when I want to watch something on TV I have some Plans.

Plan A: never leave the sofa and hold remote in hand. If have to leave sofa take remote with me.

Plan B: once in awhile I may have to leave the sofa. I may have to leave the house. There is no viable plan for this as even I can’t(yet) sink low enough to take the remote with me out of the house. Plan B: unresolved.

Plan C: hide the remote. Magically find the remote upon returning to the house/sofa.

Plan D:have a hard heart. I am a pussy. My roommate will approach me and ask me how long I will be watching whatever it is I am watching that is preventing him from watching the men and their balls. I will say 6 hours.

Plan E:block ESPN with my access to parental controls. I am the only one on the bill.I can actually do this. I have to do Plan D first however.
Plan F: get roommate a girlfriend.Then maybe he will go to her house and watch sports on her TV.

My boyfriend’s brother,our roommate. I will say it isn’t exactly fair of me to gripe since I too am always home.I work from home.I live with my boyfriend and we don’t go out that much because we are homebodies. However, we are a couple. Lame as it is that we aren’t going out to the clubs & wresting every possible amusement from the city as we can —it is not that lame because we aren’t single with a couch stuck to our bottoms not doing anything about being single. When we are home we will eventually have to get up to walk the dog. We can go back to our inert postures if we want. But we will have to go walk that dog. It kind of saves us from slipping completely into the mind numbing tv marathon that many weekends can be lost to. If one isn’t vigilant against sloth–which one can’t always be vigilant against.

When I was single I was out there.I met the people. I didn’t want to be single.
Maybe our pal just doesn’t want to meet anyone? Countless weekends find him staked out in the living room watching baseball or playing his guitar or watching baseball while playing his guitar only budging from the sofa to go to the bathroom or to go to his room to loudly play his bass or the same 4 songs on his stereo or play his bass while playing the same 4 songs on his stereo,then back to the couch where he falls asleep while Sports Night blares from the set.

The only way to make this stop is to lie in wait for the few minutes he may leave the sofa and then snatch the remote and frantically find something else to watch so that the sports watching sofa hogging extravaganza is nipped in the bud for a few hours.Last night I managed to do this and was able to see TV premiere of Half Nelson on Sundance.Big Coup.

I am hoping this is just a phase…that someday he might find the company of friends or one special friend in particular worth leaving the sofa.