While Bozzio and I were strolling to Williamsburg tonight I decided that if I found a salon that was still open I would go in and demand a haircut.There was not much risk involved being that it was after 7pm but I still think that if I had found one I woulda:
The Beehive Salon
115 N 7th St
Brooklyn, NY 11211
Phone: (718) 782-8376
Reputation:I hear good things
Clients:It’s in W’Burg and wburg is for the hip children
I have over-long hair.It’s a disaster.It frizzes up in humidity and makes me feel messy and uncool.I’d like to have the kind of hair that makes me look dressed up even when I am not.Ha ha.I have always had messy hair.I can put all different kinds of goop in it but it will still do whatever it wants.
Now that I often go out wearing glasses I feel even more self conscious about my hair,strangely enough.I think that having messy hair and wearing glasses does a lot of not good things to my appearance.
Recently on Saturday night I was walking home in my disheveled glory: no make up,glasses,messy hair and a rather butch outfit of a tee and cut off men’s cargo pants.I did not look nice.I did not have to look nice.I was just going up to the corner store and then going back to my house.I might have even been cleaning or something.I passed the bad Chinese restaurant where there were a few guys waiting for their chicken wings.
Recognizing an easy target when they saw one they began to call after me “Miss, miss I have to do a photo shoot and we are short a model!’ “One thousand dollars an hour!”
I didn’t think this was very nice at all.Not everyone has the time to put on nice clothes and brush their hair and put in contact lenses just to go to the corner store!The joke was on them because they were eating dogfood Chinese in one of the worst Chinese restaurants ever known to mankind.
Here is how to spot a restaurant of poor quality.
Look out for bullet proof plastic separations between you and the register.This means you are in a bad neighborhood and do not deserve to eat good food.Another sign of low quality is the faded pictures of good Chinese food dishes on the wall.You wish you could eat at the restaurant those dishes were prepared in but you live in a neighborhood once famous for crack and gunshots.The fact that you moved to this neighborhood means that it’s cleaned up it’s act but the people who own the restaurant remember the bad old days.
New Dragon Restaurant
47 N Oxford St
Brooklyn, NY 11205-1006
Reputation:The Worst Food You could Possibly Ever Eat(but you eat it anyway)
Patronage:The Very Very Lazy,People with dead taste buds,people who think chicken wings are a food staple.
In my Fort Greene,Clinton Hill neighborhood we only have bad Chinese food.
We have Sapolo,Yummy Yummy(Yucky Yucky, I call it) and a lot of others.Sapolo may be more edible than the others around here but not by much.They are not even really a Chinese restaurant because they serve Arroz con Pollo and Papas Fritas. We do have one Chinese restaurant better than the others; Kum Kau Chinese but they do not deliver… ever heard of a Chinese restaurant that doesn’t deliver? Now you have.
When I first moved here from 36 st and 9th avenue I was thoroughly used to the dogfood Chinese restaurant problem.But if the places closest to me were gross I was still near enough to a good neighborhood that I could order good Chinese food if I wanted it. I do not have that luxury here in fort Greene/Clinton Hill.Even when I was still living on 9th and 36th back in 2005 the neighborhood restaurants began to step up to the fact that it wasn’t all about drunks and crack and guns anymore.And sure enough some real cooks who knew how to prepare Chinese food without a single chicken wing on the menu came along and opened a decent establishment right between 38th and 37th on 9th. Sigh. Gentrification. Can’t live with it can’t have good Chinese food without it.