Bras

Brooklyn Atlantic Mall, 2:30 pm August 13th

A pretty good mall with Target and Daffy’s,The Body Shop and DSW. The usual. And Starbucks of course.

I decided to drop in Victoria’s Secret, home of the bra that has wrecked bra fashion: the already shaped like a boob bra. I may be one of the only women alive who does not like the already shaped like a boob bra. They do not hold my boobs. I end up tugging up my bra all day long trying to keep things under control. I need underwire and lots of it. I cannot use 2 pieces of foam rubber connected by a piece of string, it just doesn’t work for me.I am forced to buy Bali bras. They are matronly to say the least. No amount of black lace can make up for it.

While it had been almost a year since I last visited VS, things looked pretty much the same. The perfume and soap and pajamas and makeup are front and center. A largish part of the store is devoted to this overpriced and suspect quality crap. Bras and underwear are situated beyond these irrelevancies.

The sales people descend upon you as soon as you enter but magically disappear the minute you actually need help. This is standard sales person behavior not limited to VS salespeople.

Who knows they are going to need help the second they walk in a store? I haven’t had time to even see what’s there yet.

I found 2 acceptably styled black lace bras. Not a foam rubber boob shape in sight. The sign clearly stated buy 2 for 25 dollars. When I got to the register it turned out the that the 2 identical looking black bras were actually 2 different bras with 2 different prices and not included in the sale even though they were directly under the sign. At this moment the sales people vanished. The manager was nowhere to be found and a long line had formed in front of the register with only one person at the desk. No one manning the section I got the bras from. I saw a few people industriously folding garishly striped boy shorts in Pink but it seemed to me that it was useless to ask for help outside their territory.

I left without buying a single thing.

You saw that coming didn’t you?

Victoria’s Secret gets a D- once again.