Recently I applied online for a job. I don’t know why I did, I already have far too much work to do…But as a freelancer you do sort of long for steady work… feast or famine is very much part of a freelancer’s life. Ok so this job was right up my alley: working with WordPress. I can do that. What I couldn’t seem to do is fill out the application from correctly. I don’t know what I did wrong. I wasn’t informed of what I did wrong. I was told that because I didn’t fill out the form correctly that I was not a real professional.
That made me a little steamed but also profoundly grateful:what if I had gotten hired? I think it would have been hellish to work for this person as this colorful email exchange will no doubt illustrate.I’m aware you aren’t supposed to respond to rejection letters. But sometimes you just have to.
Warning: silliness follows below.
1st Email Received From Prospective Employer:
Thank you for responding to one of our positions.
Please read this entire job application [url removed to preserve what little dignity I have left]
When you are done, you can let us know by responding back to this e-mail.
Please don’t use the contact form or toll free number on our site, that is only for our customers.
Thank you for responding to one our hiring ads, & have a great day,
Michelle
[company name removed]
My Response:
Ok, I submitted the online form.
Hope to hear from you soon and have a great day!
-Sion McCormick
2cnd Email Received (No Longer Prospective Employer – Downgraded to Officious Person)
Hi Sion,
Thank you for applying to our position.
Unfortunately you didn’t follow all of the directions in the hiring ad, so we can’t consider you for our company.
We wish you all the best
Michelle
My Response:
I suppose you feel your reasons for being this strict are justified but you have lost the opportunity to work with a dedicated,highly skilled,loyal and extremely hardworking individual.
3rd Response (Michelle Big Boss Lady!)
Strict? LOL, no, this is called screening. We are a real company & we only hire real ICs.
And the fact that you feel you shouldn’t be screened tells us you aren’t really a professional, but we already knew that b/c if you had been, you would have actually read over the hiring ad & did as instructed like any A+ worker would have.
Also very insecure too since you had to try & show off to us that you are better then you are.
No need to respond back. This conversation is over.
Thank you
Michelle
My Response:
No, I am that good.
I never thought I shouldn’t be screened, how else are you going to find people who fit your profile? I just think your screening process is designed to provide you with the satisfaction of cutting someone off at the knees rather than actually finding someone skilled enough for the job.
4th Response From Michelle (She Who Must Be Obeyed)
Of course you would think that, that’s why you are NOT the boss & I am.
I’m going to ask you for the last time not to respond back.
All you are doing is arguing & blaming us for your mistakes instead of taking responsibility for your actions.
That is typical behavior of a low level worker.
bye
And my Final Response (Unless We Have A Fight To The Death for the Last Word!)
Oh Michelle, why so hostile?
Why are you insulting me? Because I dared to write back when you said the conversation was over?
Isn’t the conversation over when I say it is? Or are you such a big boss that you are the boss of people you haven’t even hired?
L-O-L to you.
Did you find out what you did wrong on the app? and how long did this exchange take? Michelle sounds more like an exec admin for the boss – the attitude, using the term ‘screening’, letting the power go to her head. Picture her in her grey cubicle, this was probably the highlight of her day.
The exchange took about 3 hours not counting the time it took me to carefully read the instructions, write a cover email and fill out the application form.
I think that was what made me reply to the rejection email,because she never told me what I did wrong just that because I had done it wrong I wasn’t going to be considered.
Was it the boss? I noticed the writing style on the site matched the one in the emails (heavy usage of ampersands, caps and exclamation points and omnipotent statements) I figured I was being insulted and berated by the big boss herself.
If this had been a valid attempt to recruit quality internet contractors, that was what IC meant, Internet Contractors, a term I had never heard of before, I’m confident my portfolio and references would have been sufficient.
But I am grateful to have been rejected-dodged a bullet as far as I am concerned!
A Succulent Reader wrote to me in private so concerned was he that I was making myself look even more stupid than normal with this post. He said that that it was obvious to him how I’d screwed up (bright fellow, him) ta-dum: by using the online form. And the fact that I admitted to its usage was very painful to him because Miss Lady said the contact form was off limits.
Not only do I know the difference between a Contact Form and a Job Application Form I actually spend quite a lot of time Building The Darned Things. Therefore I believe I can confidently rule that out as the mistake that robbed me of the chance of being
subjected to unknown horrorsin Miss Lady’s employ.