Category: Personal Blog

I’m Still Here!

I usually post about 4 times a week but I’ve had to take a break from it while I get into PhotoShop.
I’ve had PhotoShop for almost a whole year but never really bothered to learn how to do anything with it.But then it just got too frustrating trying to compete with those slick graphics I see all over the internet using my preferred (free) image software.I was using Photofiltre for dog’s years then switched to Gimp, made a couple things with that(mostly played with brushes,tracking them down and downloading them).To give Gimp credit you can create PS quality images with it, I just had a problem with the interface. But I always knew that in order to be competitive with other web designers I was going to have to get familiar with PhotoShop so I’ve been pulling all nighters ever since.
My first task was to design a new banner for Tickle Abuse (the tickling fetish website I’m paid to maintain and update and expand).This week Tickle Abuse’s owner,Tom and his wife Tasha were on the Tyra Banks Show and he anticipated that loads of folks were going to come to the website so he wanted to make sure that it all looked good.He was understandably nervous that I would do something wacky to the website during the rush.But I always hated the banner that the previous designer came up with and that I had to work into my new designs.Tom said he didn’t mind the banner but I hated the colors and the textures and I thought it looked really Porn-y not to mention tacky. I don’t want mccormicky.com to be associated with porn and Tickle Abuse isn’t porn so why have a porn type banner?
Another thing about that old banner:it was made up of ImageReady slices and divided into about 10 tds
so when I switched the pages from tables layout to xhtml I took a screenshot of the banner and had at least one solid image to work with.I compressed it as much as I could so that it wouldn’t take a long time to load.Can you imagine? There are still folks using dial up to this day!

I have to express my gratitude to the countless people who have created tutorials online in video or text for PhotoShop. I’m having a great time learning.
The next bit of news is that I got Macromedia Flash 8 but I have had less luck finding tutorials.It might be that I am simply too right brained for Flash,anyway.But in order to get work in this field you’ve got to have a working knowledge of Flash so once I get bored of PS that will be next new toy.

NetFlix Rental:Hannah Takes the Stairs

An improvise-y flick about 20 somethings looking fer love in Chicago? Oh alright. If you like listening to dialogue full of “ums” and “you know”s and “it’s like”s and don’t much care that the main character is a brat.

Certain scenes were charming such as the one of the appreciation of the crazy guy on the sidewalk and the naked trumpet playing duet in the bath tub. But that’s only 2 scenes,dude. Usually I don’t want to write about plot for movies I really liked but I didn’t really like this one so here goes.

A Very Brief Synopsis

Hannah Takes the Stairs is the story about a woman detaching from a man who has nothing but time for her and going for a dude who has no time to spare her.

A Longwinded Synopsis

The film opens with Hannah in the shower with her mans who is soon jettisoned in favor of the smart but hard on the eyes Paul,the hotshot of the production office wrangling a deal for a book option to his…blog!

The plot is loosely constructed to say the least. In the opening scenes we see Hannah getting ready for the first day of her internship and beginning to loathe her suddenly unemployed by choice boyfriend. The loathing bit is obvious, the working bit is not. The only reason I knew Hannah was supposed to be a new intern at a production office is because I read the back of the DVD cover.

Feeling neglected by Paul, Hannah rapidly sets her beady (Ok, her eyes aren’t beady) on Paul’s best friend and co-worker Matt who has more time to pay rapt attention to her than Paul (he’s just like,so busy with his agent like,you know?). And a better scene soon follows when Hannah learns that Matt is a complex dude with problems and is on about 3 different kinds of anti-depressants so maybe she ought not to toy with his fragile soul.

Looking at Greta Gerwig (Hannah) who is tall, slim and blonde with a hip hairstyle and no prob with nudity is not at all hard to do. If only the actress were given actual lines to speak instead of her own improvised and inarticulate mumblings. I might not have come away with the impression that I just watched a movie starring an American Apparel model.

I suppose I have difficulty with the notion that women don’t care what a guy looks like because his personality is what is attracting her- and therefore we are supposed to believe the non dashing Paul could be her next boyfriend despite that fact that the guy she just ditched was actually handsome. I kept expecting her to flinch when he groped her. But no, Hannah courts and ensnares Paul on purpose. Am I that shallow? Maybe, but then why did Hannah have to be a knockout amongst shlubby moes?
Andrew Bujalski, Paul, directed Funny Ha Ha (another movie about an unattractive guy and a pretty girl).

One review I read stated this was a film about young people looking for the next person to crush out on. Yet Hannah’s roommate and good pal Rocco doesn’t spend any time “crushing out”, she spends her time cooped up in their apt. and avoiding foolishness.

Of Possible Interest
You can see cast and crew pictures and a theatrical trailer atHannah Takes the Stairs and read “thanks for the add” comments on their Myspace page

How to answer dumb questions

Sweetly and patiently. No one has ever asked such a great question where have you been my whole life?

Although it might be tempting to make the questioner feel stupid and small because their question is kind of dumb and has been asked a zillion times already-for customer service this is a very bad idea.
No matter how “stupid” the question might be you never want to let the person asking it know they’re asking a really dumb question.

Case in point:An experience I had in a grocery store using the credit card machine to pay for the goods. This particular card swiper doohickey was set up differently than the ones I was used to-therefore the enter and clear buttons(the yes and no buttons) were in a different place and I didn’t see them. So I asked where the yes button was and the clerk said in a very snarky tone “it’s where the button that says yes is”. I’ve never gone back to that store.

Was I being too sensitive? Probably. But I am a customer and we are a sensitive crew. We like it when clerks are helpful and nice. We go back to those stores because being in a helpful and nice environment is a nicer place to spend our nice money.
If you want to make money don’t risk losing return customers just to have a one time “I’m smarter than you which isn’t that hard to be because you are incredibly stupid” triumph.
Most folks who run an online store aren’t going to act like that clerk in the grocery store.That clerk didn’t lose a dime when I never went back-the franchise owner did. Clerkie couldn’t give a crap and acted accordingly. If it’s your store it’s just that much more likely you’re going to be nice,that is if making money is more important to you than feeling smart. I used to be a clerk in a store. Like a former waitperson who tends to tip more than 20% because they remember how it felt to get stiffed, a good ex retail worker never forgets the customer is always right even when they’re wrong. We are all still customers no matter what our current occupations are. It’s easy to know how to treat other customers: like you would want to be treated.

NetFlix Rental:Lars and the Real Girl

I finally joined NetFlix even though I had a hard time finding a movie because I’ve somehow managed to see every movie ever made-at least that’s how it seemed to me when I was browsing titles available:seen it,seen it,seen it. I really wanted to see Doomsday but it isn’t out to rent,naturally or I would’ve seen it already, don’t you know.

I remembered seeing a preview for Lars and the Real Girl and that Paul Schneider had a supporting role. I’ve had a crush on him ever since All the Real Girls in which he played the guy who’d slept with everyone in town.Patricia Clarkson also starred in All the Real Girls and in Lars she plays the family doctor.I adore Patricia Clarkson,so I was already sold when I saw she was in the cast.

Ryan Gosling is the lead actor in Lars and the Real Girl and I quite liked him in Half Nelson even if the plot was excruciatingly centered around a good teacher who smokes crack.Yikes.But he is a very good actor.So I picked it and 2 days later it was in my mailbox.I had to wait until the playoffs were over so around 1:30 am I popped it into the DVD player and was pleasantly surprised. I’m not going to give the plot away because I watched this movie not knowing a thing about it and I always think that the best way to watch any film.
The other film I picked was Hannah Takes the Stairs. I’ll let you know if it’s any good.