mccormicky

My boyfriend and I were relaxing after spending the afternoon with his mom who is in town for a few days after a business trip.
I was at the computer desk-he was watching the basketball game and we were chatting lightly about random things when out of the blue he said “I’m going to live in Colorado one day”.I asked him why and he said for skiing.I immediately thought of Pete Heinz, my centuries old boyfriend who I hadn’t seen or heard from since 1997.Pete used to take off from Long Island to Colorado to work at some ski resort and drive a bus in trade for free ski slope priviledges.He’d be gone for the whole winter and hardly ever call me.
Needless to say it wasn’t a great relationship-very much in the unrequited category with me doing all the requiting.And it ended very badly: after one of his Colorado trips,he’d been back for a week or two before I even found out he was back.Not only that but he’d finally gotten Julia Waters to be his girlfriend and hadn’t bothered to let me in on it.Our mutual friend Kathy was the one who let me know. I pretty much fell apart.So when A. said skiing and I thought of Pete I said so.Without thinking I began to describe some of the bad associations I had with men and skiing and Colorado and I happened to mention that Pete and I were together for about 6 years. A. took this hard. I think it was the 6 years part that got to him.Rather than the fact that I’d had a boyfriend before the boyfriend before I met him…if that makes any sense. OK I had a few boyfriends. I never had a good boyfriend, though.Most of my relationships prior to A.looked very bad on paper and this one I’m talking about was the worst and why would I want to talk about that with A.? I’d already told him all the other guys I’d ever been involved with were not much in the committment department.The 6 years total is just a random grouping of painful events that yes,spanned 6 years of my life but no one could ever describe what went on as “being together”. And if Pete and I had not had Kathy as a mutual friend it probably wouldn’t have lasted half as long as it did. I tried to explain this to A. but I was feeling horribly guilty because of his reaction and I couldn’t verbalize that well. He just got angrier,like I’d been hiding something all this time we’d been together. I do not feel I had been hiding Pete or the length of time I knew Pete. I just didn’t think it was an important aspect of my life previous to A.that he should kind of know, such as telling him I’d been married or had a child.(i’ve never,i don’t,by the way)